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����The Boys on Tbeir Bikes *#tlzqm11 eal world. I often feel I don't exist physically, in the inherited world arents and the like. Sometimes it's O.K. I stood still, and he went' some of the pebbles that were stuck to my back under the loose Lirt; I have a skinny back. ugg discount coupon minibootaustralia It's odd not to be someone worthless. I/ stilled inwardly, pondlike, girlisb-I mean with guilt and respon- iess. I really mean with greed and also with a kind of suspicion, and with stiff gratitude, stiff with resistance because of the suspicion, then not, but kind of wildly generous, like a kid, but one my-me, I guess. His fingers are small, considering his size. I'm six one ie's six two. His fingers taper down and are kidlike in the last joints. i're being so goddam tender I can't stand it," I said, and he gasped,:oaned, like my dad-as my dad used to, wanting me not to talk. uld guess the tenderness was real, but it's his and I don't know what:ans in relation to who I am and what I do and what I have just. I was overborne by the mysterious chemical fires he lit with his g like this and his continuing to act-with tenderness-while cur-: me of dirt after my dumb gesture, or whatever I should call it. t I'm trying to get to is to say that this pink ugg boots australia stuff with the fingers, the:r-fingers business, occurs along the lines of the irrevocable, too- iasculine irrevocable. he likes me this much, why didn't he lie down beside me? hy didn't he say, Jesus, God, Jesus, Godl)w come he's so stubbornly set on doing things his way, inside his way, inside his own life? dy didn't he give up his own will and his own speech? Look, he's. so-nice. Medically generous. In each touch, in each movement. fingers are inspired little puffs of soul-deeps and absentminded- like birds in dust or leaves, forgetting themselves and leaning or Lg and being almost still: stilled birds in very early morning sun- Something like that. w can I live up to his silly goddam fingers? w do you live up to anything halfway decent? w do you live with anything that's really just about entirely t? ple don't stay decent. This is a trap, what he's doing. so terrible to be irritated by people. How do you live with people?: tenderness was already turning nasty. His fingers were getting and red ugg boots australia quick and gougey. Of course, it wouldn't stay like that, either,)w his touches were rough and rebuking.:n he began doing it as if I were inanimate, ugg elsey boots and my back was his